I have been rather optimistic about the chances that same-sex marriage would be legalized in New Jersey, that the pendulum of equality was swinging toward full citizenship for gays and lesbians here and across the country.
Yes, full citizenship. To deny same-sex couples the legal right to marry — to obtain the legal benefits of marriage (some several hundred major and minor rights and benefits) — is to place same-sex couples within a different class than the rest of us.
I’ve written about this literally dozens of times, and yet we continue on this one-step-forward-two-steps-back movement on the issue. The New Jersey state Supreme Court requires same-sex couples be given the same rights as straight couples, but punts on the question of calling it marriage — and the state Legislature and governor call it a day.
California and Connecticutt courts rule that same-sex couples can get married, and California voters — and others in three states — change the state constitution to make it illegal once again.
The entire thing is incredibly disheartening.
In California, same-sex couples and their supporters seem to have been awakened from a complacency that is surprising, finally rallying hard to show their anger. Many at the rally told reporters that they had been blind-sided over the support for Proposition 8 and didn’t work hard enough to make the case against it. The ACLU is suing and there is likely to be another state ballot initiative should the suit fail, this time thanks to organizing by the state’s gay community, looking to reverse last week’s marriage ban.
Alfred Doblin at The Record of Hackensack says the California vote should spur gay-marriage supporters — both gay and straight — in New Jersey to action.
New Jerseyans should take note of what happened in California. A majority of voters in a very liberal state were not so very liberal when it came to the subject of same-sex marriage. It was the California high court that legalized same-sex marriage. And it was the California people who took that right away.
The victories that the gay community has achieved in the courts, including New Jersey’s, can be taken away by voters who are exercised enough to change state constitutions. It is not winning the hearts and minds of justices or legislators that will bring marriage equality to all 50 states. It’s the hearts, minds and vote-casting hands of the electorate that matter most.
And changing hearts and minds, creating what he calls a “paradigm shift,” will take a lot of work.
That means shoes and pumps hitting the pavement, convincing people face-to-face. Few Americans voted for the first African-American president because a celebrity said he or she was voting for Obama. They voted for Obama because they heard and saw something that resonated deep inside them.
On the subject of same-sex marriage, Americans are resonating with fear.
He adds that
In 2009, the Legislature may readdress the issue of same-sex marriage in New Jersey. And maybe the Legislature will vote to allow it. But unless a majority of New Jerseyans support that decision, it will be a decision carved in sand.
Basically, the fear has to be addressed, has to be alleviated, if same-sex couples are to gain the rights to which they are entitled.
Hank Kalet 