Tag: Mets

What is it they say about baseball? It’s 90 percent pitching and the other half is defense? (OK, they is Yogi, but….)

This explains the last two Met games — awful starts and that Daniel Murphy flop in the outfield.

Here is what I’ll call my Calvin Trillin moment (after the famed Deadline Poet):

A Mets fan’s Lament
(To the tune of “Levon” by Elton John)

Livan sells cartoon balloons in town
He prays his pitches stay low
Because he needs the job
And the batters send them to finest stands around
He was once a Cuban refugee on a fishing raft
and the New York Post says his arm is dead
and the hits keep coming
El Duque’s half brother should just go away
And the pitcher was Livan

A nasty pitch from Francisco Rodriguez and a great throw by Omir Santos (who is this guy?) — strike-’em-out, throw-’em-out — and the game is over. Santos, who played 10 games for the Orioles last year, not only made a perfect throw, he was up out of the crouch faster than any catcher I’ve seen in a long time.

So Johan Santana gets a win and the Mets move above .500.

The Onion is reporting the terrible news that Mr. Met is having emotional difficulties. He is having trouble sleeping and has been acting uncharacteristically, the news organization said.

Explaining that Mr. Met’s usual fun-loving antics have taken a dark turn lately, Jose Reyes recalled how the mascot pushed an eight-year-old fan to the ground last week and flipped off Luis Castillo after he struck out on Opening Day. In addition, Reyes said he has seen Mr. Met take out his T-shirt gun, place it in his mouth, and repeatedly squeeze the trigger.

“When I asked if he was feeling okay, he didn’t say a word. He just shook his giant head,” Reyes said. “Poor guy. He used to be so upbeat. These days his smile just looks painted on.”

“I’d say he drinks too much coffee, but he flings most of it at people,” Reyes added. “Maybe his hat is too small or something.”

Poor guy. Maybe we should take up a collection and send him to a spa for a weekend.

The Mets win. Now can they change the name of Citifield? Maybe, we can find a company that is not in distress?

Kaboom! Carlos goes yard — Delgado hits the second Met homer in Citifield history, a mammoth shot into the rightfield stands. He looks pretty good for a guy who appeared washed up last year at this time.