Just an observation but, has anyone noticed that it is New Jersey people advocating for marriage equality and that it is the national groups that are advocating most vocally against it?
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UPS today announed that it would do the right thing and provide full benefits to civil-unioned (unionized?) couples in New Jersey, even though its contract does not recognize them.
The move — a small victory for gay and lesbian couples — may lead some to believe that the civil union law is workable. The reality, however, is that this kind of dispute is likely to continue popping up (a gay couple I know has both domestic partnership and civil union status but can only get benefits through their domestic partnership, which is a much more limited designation).
The answer is to change the civil union law and call the relationship what it is: Marriage.
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Read this story and explain to me again how the state’s new civil union legislation offers gays and lesbians the protections my wife and I enjoy.
Relevant paragraph:
Nevertheless, residents who work for companies headquartered in other states, and those whose insurers are based outside New Jersey, have found it difficult if not impossible to sign their partners up for health insurance. Unions and employers whose self-insured plans are federally regulated have also denied coverage in some cases. Staff members in doctors’ offices and emergency rooms have questioned partners’ role in decision-making. Confusion abounds over the interplay of state and federal laws governing taxes, inheritance and property.
Timothy Zimmer, a computer programmer in Newark quoted in the Times story, offers this:
“Apparently the civil union law gave us all the rights of marriage, except the ones we really need.”
And here’s what Steve Goldstein, chairman of the gay-rights group Garden State Equality, said in the same story:
“How can you call it equal protection when you have to go through hell maybe to get your civil union recognized?”
Seems a fair question.
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Some responses to my post (and Editor’s Note) yesterday about the response we received to a story on a civil union ceremony in Monroe:
I just read your blog entry about writing a story about gay people in The Cranbury Press. I grew up in Cranbury my whole life and now live in NYC and I am 100 percent homo. Always have been. Always will be. It’s sad that people still have hatred for gay people and are small minded but good for you for printing a story like that. The world changes because of journalists like you. We can have the nationwide press tell our stories but it’s the little papers like The Cranbury Press that can make just as much of a difference. If I was a kid and read that story during my childhood growing up in Cranbury, I probably never would have forgotten it.
My husband and I along with many of our friends here at The ponds community inMonroe are supportive of the wonderful human interest story of the civil unionOf Steve Lourie and Frank Pisciotta, who finally earned the rights so longdenied them. They are fine human beings and we are happy to call them friends. We wish them the best. Please don’t let angry, small minded people deter youfrom reporting on important issues that have an impact on real human beings.
I am amazed at the reaction to your story on Monroe’s first civil union celebration. It certainly was newsworthy, and I found it most interesting. I am a regular newspaper reader, and there are many stories in which I am not interested, so I skip them. That is why I do not like TV news, which decides what news I must watch. The angry readers should get a life, and let other people live theirs.
I am a resident of The Ponds, happy that our community is so welcoming, and personally glad to have Stephen Lourie and Frank Pisciotta as neighbors.
It’s nice to know that not everyone is intolerant.
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As I get older, I’ve found myself growing more intolerant of intolerance. The differences in people are what make them unique and the choices they make are their own, so long as they don’t harm anyone else. That’s my basic philosophy of life, I guess.
That’s why the calls and notes I received following our publication of a story on a Monroe gay couple’s civil union ceremony so disconcerting. There were cancelations of the paper and some choice words offered — including one letter writer who essentially compared me to the wicked of Sodom — but that’s fine. We ran the story because it was a good story on an important topic.
And I’d do it again next week.
What troubles me, however, is the level of vitriol — the hatred out there for people just trying to live their lives. Their union has no impact on the rest of us. It is no threat to my marriage, nor do I suspect it threatens anyone else’s. (That the state has not seen fit to call civil unions marriage is a travesty and another example of the Legislature’s unwillingness to lead.)
Frank and Stephen love each other and their love makes the world a better place. Can the same be said about Brittney and Kevin? Or about any of the other five-minute marriages that have become a Hollywood staple?
But I digress. The issue that came up was about my politics and whether it affects what I assign and where I place it. Essentially, I was accused of having an agenda.
Here, in it’s entirety, is the Editor’s Note I wrote as a response for today’s edition of The Cranbury Press:
A story is a story
Angry readers are a given in the newspaper business.
After all, not everything we do casts everyone in a positive light and not everyone might agree with the positions we take on the Town Forum page.
Politicians, for instance, tend not to like stories that raise questions about their actions or shed light on their failures. And I’ve lost count of the calls and e-mails I’ve received over the years regarding my criticism of the president and the Iraq War.
So it shouldn’t have surprised me that some readers took offense at a story on Monroe’s first civil union that ran on Page 1 of last week’s paper.
The piece, which included a Page 1 photo and several photos on the jump page, told the story of Stephen Lourie and Frank Pisciotta’s 30-year relationship and their decision to take advantage of the state’s new civil union law.
I received several calls complaining about the story — one called it “garbage” — and a handful of readers canceled their subscription.
One sent me this note, which is probably representative of the negative comments I’d received:
“I just canceled my subscription and I hope many more do! When The Cranbury Press sees fit to announce on the front page about a bunch of homosexual old men
it’s time to go. There are so many more important things going on in our community but it’s obvious you have another agenda other than reporting on what people really care about.”Nearly everyone accused the paper, or me directly, of having an agenda, of using the news columns to push my point of view.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Yes, I believe that gays and lesbians should have the right to marry — as I’ve written in my Dispatches column on numerous occasions. I believe a lot of things, but I never let my political beliefs color my news choices.
Iraq is an example. I have been a vocal critic of the Iraq War, but that has not prevented us from running stories on returning soldiers who remain supportive of the mission — most recently in February, when former Jamesburg Borough Councilman Carlos Morales returned from a five-month tour of duty in southern Iraq. The Morales story ran up front because it was an important news story with a local angle.
It is the same reason that we assigned the civil union story that ran on Page 1: It was news. It was the first civil union in Monroe under the state’s new and controversial civil union law.
It was that simple. No agenda, just a commitment to presenting the news — even if it makes some readers angry.
Let me know if you agree.
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Hank Kalet 