I thought I was a beat, but I was just a boy, part 12

The cover of my first attempt at a literary zine, named for the Kerouac novel.
I thought I was a beat, but I was just a boy 

Notes on Re-Reading Kerouac in my 50sPart  12

When I was 19, On the Road was a revelation. Like so many boys my age, I was looking for a different kind of validation than the one I’d received from families and teachers, a way to escape the expectations and, at least figuratively, find a new road.

On the Road provided me a figurative  road map, a permission slip, a glimpse into a committed sense of rebellion. Sal and company may have had difficulty committing to relationships, but they were committed to chasing pleasure, to seeking knowledge, to living beyond the confines of what was becoming a staid and stultifying post-war landscape.

As the events of the novel unfold, the nation is emerging from the massive military build-up of World War II. The Depression was still present in the minds of Americans, with enough people remaining left out of FDR’s New Deal and the war’s injection of Keynesian spending into the economy. The nation was on the cusp of change.

On the Road offers evidence of an America slowly receding — hobos riding the rails, a vast migrant economy that was best portrayed in the 1930s by John Steinbeck, still extant farm areas incorporated into medium and large-sized cities. The America of On the Road was already in the rear view mirror when the book was published in 1957. The GI Bill was giving the white working class a way out of the factories. Suburbanization led to white flight from the cities, even as the Great Migration was bringing more blacks to northern cities. The economy was becoming nationalized — not in a Soviet manner, but through the growth of national retail chains and large corporations, which created a need for a new class or at least a larger class of middle managers.

I admit that my short overview of the era is, in many ways, a caricature of the time. I’m distilling a historical period to its broad outlines. But these broad outlines are important, because they define the context into which the novel was born, helping to define for us what On the Road meant to younger readers when it came out. On the Road was both a harbinger of a new cultural order and an effort to preserve something of America’s mythic past.

Sal’s rebellion borrows from an American mythology, and On the Road shares DNA with other classics — Hemingway’s The Sun Also Rises and several of his short stories, Fitzgerald, Twain’s The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Thoreau’s Walden: A Life in the Woods, Dreiser — in its central themes and reliance on several key American myths: that America is an unending continent; that we all can remake ourselves, can discard our identities; that we can make new starts by taking to the road; and that, by going back to the soil or he wilderness, we can find something more authentic.

All of these are present in On the Road in different ways and make the book very much a link in the chain of American literature and part of the vast conversation writers have with the past and future.

And it shares DNA with J.D. Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye, as well, which was written at the same time as Kerouac was first working on On the Road but published six years before Kerouac’s novel made its debut. Both are direct attacks on the mainstream. Catcher in the Rye‘s Holden Caulfield is younger and decidedly upperclass, but his rebellion is aimed at the same basic targets: an establishment that he views as enforcing a conformity that is suffocating. Holden runs away after failing out of boarding school, his refusal to go home serving as a statement of purpose and a rebellion without a clear argument; Sal takes to the road, running deeper into a mythic America, chasing authenticity at a time when advertising was rising to art form and the company man (or the man in the grey flannel suit) was the standard.

Kerouac’s writing stood against it — and, in many ways, still does. That it became the model from which both the early hipster and the hippie would grow is not his fault, or not completely. He hated that his readers often missed the sadness in the book, and the painful, grinding reluctance that marks his Big Sur — a book that chronicles his reaction to fame, his efforts to find some piece, and his total descent into alcoholic madness.

Kerouac’s late years are marked by contradictions and a debilitating descent into drink. His underlying political conservatism had always been there. Burroughs describes him in Jack’s Book, the Gifford/Lee biography, as an “Eisenhower man” who “believed in the old-fashioned virtues, in America, and that Europeans were decadent, and he was violently opposed to communism and any sort of leftist ideologies” (Gifford 303). And he railed against the new anti war protesters, not because supported the violence in Vietnam, but because they were not showing sufficient respect for the country he loved.

But Kerouac’s On the Road — along with The Dharma Bums and The Subterraneans — also served as a template for this new generation. These were Kerouac’s kids, in a literary sense, taking to the road, seeking kicks, doing what they could to slip the grip of ’50s conformity and to dull the knowledge that we were living under the existential threat on nuclear annihilation.

The context, again, is significant. Norman Mailer, in his essay “The White Negro,” attributes the hipster urge typified by the Beats to a sense of doom, a fear of impending atomic calamity. He likens it to the fatalism of an African American population that lived everyday under existential threat, i.e., the purposeful and arbitrary violence of the Jim Crow South and equally racist North. Both the hipster — whom he dubs the “white negro” — and the African American seek pleasure as a way of fending off the doom. The difference, he says, is that African Americans were also responding to fatalism with political engagement; the hipster was not.

It’s a simplistic analysis that idealizes black Americans as a type, but it does offer an explanation as to what might be underlying this revolt, one that ties into the philosophical debates of pre-war and post-war Europe. Existential dread does appear to trigger some of the hedonism of the Beats — Ginsberg’s poems “Howl,” “America” and “A Supermarket in California” are thick with it, as is the work of Gregory Corso and the madness of Burroughs’ novels.

The baby-boom generation grows up in the shadow of the bomb — I can remember air-raid drills at my New York elementary school in the late-1960s — and with a sense of unending prosperity that creates a new sense of boredom. Dean is key to this analysis, I think. He is about 20 when On the Road begins. Sal was about five years older. They are, in so many ways, still kids, as is the rest of their crowd. Theirs is partly a youthful, hedonistic rebellion that grows from the natural need of the not-quite-adult to make his own way, while also fighting a sense of ennui that hangs over this first generations of teens to not be forced into the workforce.

Rebel Without a Cause — along with a number of scare films about juvenile delinquency, a genre that has had a long history — offers a glimpse into this: knife fights and games of chicken, a sense of teen invincibility crossed with a sort of desperation for belonging and control. It’s not just the James Dean character, Jim Stark, but the entire youth subculture in the film that seems to be struggling for some kind of purpose, for an existence of its own.

Sal Paradise faces the same struggle, fighting a deep ennui as On the Road opens. Sal has just gone through a break up and a “serious illness that I won’t bother to talk about, except that it had something to do with the miserably weary split-up and my feeling that everything was dead” (3). It’s an often overlooked element of the novel, which too often is portrayed solely as a precursor to the buddy-film genre, or as a joyful expression of new identity. The book, while tilting at expansiveness, is really about limits — the limits that exist in relationships, the limits of a continent, the inability, ultimately to escape one’s self. 

And yet, rebellion and motion are the underlying motifs, the foundation on which failures of its characters lie and from which its language draws its energy. When I first read the book, what drew me in was the language — which has an odd sense of swing and can have the feeling that it is rushing forward, while slowing to a crawl as Sal becomes contemplative.

“In no time at all,” he writes as Dean guns a massive Cadillac limousine toward Chicago and the book’s decisive events,
we were back on the main highway and that night I saw the entire state of Nebraska unroll before my eyes. A hundred and ten miles an hour straight through, an arrow Road, sleeping towns, no traffic, and the Union Pacific streamlined falling behind us in the moonlight. I wasn’t frightened at all that night; it was perfectly legitimate to go 110 and talk and have all the Nebraska towns — Ogallala, Gothenburg, Kearney, Grand Island, Columbus — unreal with dreamlike rapidity as we roared ahead and talked. (228)
The speed, the way the towns exist in name only, as highway signs, the night, the talking — this is the romance of the novel, it’s magnetic allure. I remember drinking tequila and smoking dope one night with my pal Bob in the house we rented. It was a night of big conversation, as every night was. We were 20, unformed, gazing ahead, and sometime deep in the night we decided to head to Asbury Park, racing east on the highway, doing 70, 80, arriving in the decaying Shore town made famous by my idol, Bruce Springsteen, hitting a McDonald’s for breakfast, realizing we had no cash, fleeing without our food, and racing home in the same burst of energy and youthful exuberance that had us up all night in the first place. This is what 20-year-olds do — or did, or maybe it was just us. We lived that way, alternating between the frenzy, partying at night, and the doldrums (to borrow a word from Ginsberg), working boring day jobs and doing the things you need to do to survive. And we read and wrote and played our music loudly, and “tried to walk like the heroes we thought we had to be” (Springsteen, “Backstreets”).

Grassroots: Take Back the Narrative

From The Progressive Populist:

The Republican Party has a message to America’s poor: You’re on you’re own.

House Republicans joined the effort in July, unveiling a budget resolution that the Associated Press says “proposes trillions of dollars in cuts to the social safety net and other domestic programs while sharply boosting military spending,” a budget blueprint that is consistent with one unveiled by the president earlier this year, even if the numbers might differ.

The GOP House plan calls for about $200 billion in benefit cuts, along with “trillions of dollars in cuts to the social safety net and other domestic programs,” according to the AP. It also proposes Medicare “reform” — or the dismantling of the current program in favor of a voucher plan.

It’s unclear whether the budget plan can get through the House, given reports of conflicting priorities among Republican lawmakers, but the conflicts are less about broad priorities and more about specific numbers. There appears to be broad agreement in the party on the outlines of the plan: Gut the social safety net and consolidate tax brackets as a way to cut taxes for the wealthy.

Which is exactly what the Trump teams wants to see.

 To read the full Grassroots column, go to The Progressive Populist, August 15, 2017.

I thought I was a beat, but I was just a boy, part 11

I thought I was a beat, but I was just a boy 

Notes on Re-Reading Kerouac in my 50sPart  11

“The car belonged to a tall, thin fag” (206). I hadn’t noticed this before, Sal describing a man they met at the travel bureau in San Francisco, using what remains a nasty slur against gays to describe a character with which he obviously has little sympathy.

He lacks a name, “wore dark glasses and drove with extreme care.” His car was a “fag Plymouth,” an “effeminate car,” with “no real power.”

Sal and Dean are heading east, escaping a San Francisco that had become repressive, where the women in Dean’s life — and the lives of his friends — were weighing them down, cutting into their freedom. They visit the travel bureau, which matches passengers willing to cover fuel costs with drivers seeking the companionship and help with expenses.

They catch a ride with “the fag,” along with a “couple, typical halfway tourist,” who are the epitome of square America. Sal and Dean ignore the three, talking in the back seat for the trip’s first leg, talking like new lovers, excitedly, passionately, conspiratorially.

We were telling these things and both sweating. We had completely forgotten the people up front who had begun to wonder what was going on in the back seat. At one point the driver said, “For God’s sakes, you’re rocking the boat back there.” Actually we were; the car was swaying as Dean and I both swayed to the rhythm and the IT of our final excited joy in talking and living to the blank trances end of all innumerable riotous angelic particulars that had been lurking in our souls all our lives. (208)
The juxtaposition of this love-like relationship in the back seat of the Plymouth with the description of the driver is instructive. It has the feel of a man over-compensating for his own 

Kerouac had gay friends — Allen Ginsberg, William S. Burroughs, Gore Vidal. In fact, he slept with Vidal (see Vidal’s discussion of this in Jack’s Book: An Oral Biography of Jack Kerouac, 182-184), who described Kerouac as bisexual and not afraid to use his it when it benefited him. Kerouac’s use of anti-gay slurs, then, could be an example of a public homophobia compensating for repressed homosexual urges. This, of course, is just pop-psychology, though some recent studies would appear at least to lend credence to the theory.

Consider this article from Scientific American, which describes an academic study that purports to link homophobia both to this repression and to authoritarian parents who harbor similar views.
The research, published in the April 2012 issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, reveals the nuances of prejudices like homophobia, which can ultimately have dire consequences.

“Sometimes people are threatened by gays and lesbians because they are fearing their own impulses, in a sense they ‘doth protest too much,'” Ryan told LiveScience. “In addition, it appears that sometimes those who would oppress others have been oppressed themselves, and we can have some compassion for them too, they may be unaccepting of others because they cannot be accepting of themselves.”
Keep in mind that these possibilities are couched in conditional language — “may,” “”could,” “it appears” — because our emotions and prejudices do not run in a straight line. Jesse Marczyk, writing in Psychology Today, disputes that a link exists at all, saying there is no research that supports it. That seems too simple, too easily reductive. Homophobia has a lot of causes, which very well may include repressed feelings.

Whether this is the case with Kerouac, we can only make assumptions based on his reduction of this poor traveler to the single slur, “fag,” reinforced by language that shows an obvious disdain — and what others have said about his personal life.

As Barry Gifford and Lawrence Lee write in Jack’s Book: An Oral Biography of Jack Kerouac, there have long been theories about Kerouac’s — and Neal Cassidy’s — sexuality.

Because Ginsberg, Burroughs, Huncke and others in the circle are homosexuals, it has become fashionable to assume Jack and Neal were gay men too repressed to act out their love for each other openly, a theory ratified by the fact that both men, on occasion, sleep with other men. There is no evidence, documentary or otherwise, to support the notion. (88)
And yet, a Kerouac’s editing of his relations with other men — with Vidal’s alter ego in The Subterranean most famously — to remove the sex, along with his willingness to turn to slurs like fag, raise serious questions and should not be elides as we attempt to reconsider On the Road.

In my 20s, I didn’t notice this use of language. Dismissing gays and lesbians, targeting them with vitriol (or worse) and making them the butt of humor was the norm. It wasn’t just the anti gay Reagan administration or conservatives who did this. The stereotypes were everywhere. Gays were nearly always portrayed as unabashed queens, over-the-top and limp-wristed, or as painfully closeted individuals. They were never just characters who happened to be gay; they always had to be the gay character. Even a comedian as open-minded and friendly to the LGBTQ community as Robin Williams made the crude stereotypes of lisping and prancing gays the target of his jokes. It was OK to laugh at the fags at this time.

We’ve moved away from this to a degree. The gay pedophile character remains a trope of American cop shows, while the flamboyant queer and butch lesbian continue to be used for comic relief and the butt of jokes. See the movie and musical versions of Legally Blonde, in which a cardboard lesbian character is presented as completely humorless and the gay pool boy is reprises the flames stereotype. Both characters are meant to be laughed at — rather than with — because they are gay.

Thankfully, other pop-culture presentations do a better job of fleshing out their gay characters so that we laugh with them — Modern Family’s Mitch and Cam, for instance, engender laughter because of their individual quirks and not because of broad stereotypes (though they have been desexualized for much of the show’s run). Saul and Robert on Grace and Frankie are incredibly detailed characterizations of two gay men who came out late in life. 

The fight for marriage equality and full citizenship and rights and protections for members of the LGBTQ community have also changed the conversation and allowed many of us to see Kerouac’s nasty portrayal of the “tall, thin fag,” as the homophobic rant it is.

Kerouac writes this during the ’40s and ’50s, when it was common and accepted, when police raided parks looking for pervs, and well before the Stonewall uprising. Some might give him a pass for it — and I do believe it is hard to judge someone outside of our times. He was not unusual for his times, but he also was not he brave trailblazer he could have been.

More significantly, while the book was published in 1957, I am reading it today, with today’s eyes and belief system. One reason for me reading this book now, as I approach 55, is to gauge how my thinking has evolved. I was never a homophobe, but neither was I particularly enlightened, despite having a close friend come out to me. At 20 or so, I probably viewed gay subculture through a romanticized lens, as a leading edge of the avant-garde to which I thought I belonged. It was cool to know gays and lesbians, read their work, listen to their music. To idealize them. I have to admit, though, that this elevation — like Kerouac’s idealizing of African Americans — turned real people and a real communities into objects.

I mentioned this in an earlier post, and it bears repeating: Even the most progressive of us, those with the best intentions, can fall prey to racist or LGBTQ-ist thought. I won’t go so far as to say homophobic thought, because the suffix -phone implies hatred or distaste; this is more about robbing individuals of their identity and turning the into stock figures and stereotypes, which doesn’t require animus.

I’m not looking to rewrite the history of On the Road — it is too much a part of my personal iconography — but it is clear that on so many fronts it has not aged well. It is an artifact, which does not preclude it being read or seen as important literature (there is great debate about this, on which I come down on both sides). The canon is full of writing that should make us squeamish today — Conrad and Kipling, Harriett Beecher Stowe, Fitzgerald and his ugly Jewish stereotyping. We still read and should continue to read these works — but we have to identify and respond to the prejudices of the time and ask how we should respond today.

Literature is a conversation. Novels, poems, and essays talk to and comment on the novels, poems, and essays that came before. This does not necessarily happen in an overt fashion. It often is more subtle, with writers consuming and internalizing the work of their literary ancestors. It is a component of the fuel that drives creativity and commands us to work on our craft.

So, we read Kerouac’s slurs — his caricaturing of women, blacks, Mexicans — and we respond with shock, dismay, and anger. We do this because we have to, and how we express our responses says as much about us as readers as it does about Kerouac.

I thought I was a beat, but I was just a boy, part 10

I thought I was a beat, but I was just a boy  
Notes on Re-Reading Kerouac in my 50s
Part  10

Luanne Henderson, the model for Marylou.


I call On the Road a young man’s novel, and it’s important to make it clear that the emphasis is both on young and on man.

Consider this description of Lee Ann, his friend Remi’s girl:

She was a fetching hunk, a honey-colored creature, but there was hate in her eyes for both of us. Her ambition was to marry a rich man. She came from a small town in Oregon. She rued the day she ever took up with Remi. On one of his big show off weekends he spent a hundred dollars on her and she thought she’d found an heir. Instead she was hung-up in this shack, and for lack of anything else she had to stay there. She had a job in Frisco; she had to take Greyhound bus at the crossroads and go in every day. She never forgave Remi for it.

Lee Ann is the gold-digger shrew. She is out for the money, hooks up with Remi, thinking him rich,  and targets Remi and anyone connected with Remi with a deep resentment. Or so we are led to believe. Remember, On the Road is written in the first person. Everything we see, every bit of information, is filtered through Sal, and it is fair to ask whether this description is accurate.

I’d argue that it’s more complicated, that Sal — and Kerouac himself — can’t see the nuances because his view of the world is constrained by an ingrained sexism. Every female character is placed within one of a set of categories or archetypes.

Carolyn Cassidy — Camille.

Lee Ann — along with Dean Moriarty’s girls Marylou and Camille — serves as shrew, as ball and chain, as weight around her man’s neck. She is a fairly typical archetype in literature and one of the boxes in which Kerouac traps his women characters.


Babe Rawlins is the “beautiful blonde,” “a tennis-playing, surf-riding doll of the West,” an “enterprising blonde” whose utility in the novel is limited to helping the men, facilitating their kicks or smiling as they go off and do their man things.

The unnamed wife of Walter, an African American that Sal and Dean meet in a bar in San Francisco, fits this same stereotype. The trio goes back to Walter’s tenement flat, where his wife was sleeping. The apartment had only a single bulb, and the men needed the light in the kitchen, where they sat to drink and talk. It was late, of course, and the bulb was above the wife’s bed; Dean climbs up and removes the light and, then, again to plug in the extension chord. the unnamed misses just “smiled and smiled. She never asked Walter where he’d been, what time it was, nothing” (203). When it was time to leave, they “repeated the insane thing all over again. She never said a word.”

And this sums up the book’s relationship to and views about women. As Dean says after they leave Walter’s:

“Now you see, man, there’s a real woman for you. Never a harsh word, never a complaint, or modified; her old man can come in any hour of the night with anybody and have talks in the kitchen and drink the beer and leave any old time. This is a man, and that’s his castle” (203).

Galatea Dunkel is both shrew and enabler. Galatea enters the story as ghost, as hearsay, and reappears periodically. Galatea is Ed Dunkel’s wife; Dunkel is Dean’s Denver pal, a Moriarty acolyte. Galatea is described as sniffing around after Ed, who ultimately marries her so she can pay the costs of a cross-country trip. Dean, Marylou and Ed ditch her in New Mexico, She’s described simultaneously as angry but needy; she blames Dean but desperately wants Ed back. In this way she is both Marylou and Babe, both Camille and Walter’s wife.

Only two women get extended treatments — the Mexican Terry that Sal hooks up with and Mary Lou, who goes on a mad cross-country car trip with Sal and Dean.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2397641/Inspiration-Jack-Kerouacs-On-The-Road-Beatrice-Kozera-dies-aged-92.html
Bea Kozera, Terry, and a friend the year she met Kerouac.

The figure of Terry is an interesting one. It is probably the tenderest portrait drawn by Kerouac, the one least bogged down by the mythology of his bias. There is real affection in Sal’s words, a sense that he has found something to which he can commit. But not completely. The world hangs over him — the need for money, in particular, but also a general sense of foreboding. After being hooted at by carloads of teens on a dark road outside Arcadia, he offers an internal monologue in which he explains how he “hated everyone of them” (88).


Who did they think they were, yaahing at somebody on the road just because they were little high-school punks and their parents carved roast beef on Sunday afternoons? Who did they think they were, making fun of a girl reduced to poor circumstances with a man who wanted to belove? 

The teens pass, and Sal and Terry make their way to “high-school soda fountain,” the only place open, where they come across the teens again. The teens remembered them, and realized that “Terry was Mexican, a Pacheco wildcat; and that her boy was worse than that” (88-89). This is one of the few passages in the book that acknowledges strong current of racism in the United States, a recognition undercut by his needing to refocus the eye on himself.  This is white privilege before it had a name, but also evidence of Sal/Jack’s emotional narrowness, his inability to fully get outside of himself.

But the lovers leave — she leading “with her pretty nose in the air, and they wander along the highway. This is still early in their relationship, and one might expect it to create an unbreakable bond, but Sal cannot make that kind of commitment. It is not in his emotional DNA. 

Consider his inability later in the novel to commit to Lucille: “She wanted him to be her way” (125). He was 

willing to marry her and take her baby daughter and all if she divorced the husband, but there wasn’t even enough money to get a divorce and the whole thing was hopeless, besides which Lucille would never understand me because I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another until I drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion (125-126).

The divorce argument is nothing more than justification; even if Lucille could extricate herself from her marriage, Sal would find other reasons not to stick around. His fatalism and restlessness ultimately doom his relationships, which no woman can understand — save Terry, who promises to follow him east knowing full well it will never happen. She has a restless soul, as well, and so she understands him and that understanding is presented as a willingness to let him walk.

Terry is the one female character who is given agency, though it is limited both by the patriarchal society of America after the war and Kerouac’s limited gender imagination. She is generally described in sympathetic terms, but both as child — a naive, angelic presence — and as a wise, almost Buddha-like presence. She is strong, but also a child, independent yet dependent on family. Her complications deserve an entire book, but we get just a sketch, and she ultimately stands as an example of the minor roles women are given in the beat world.

Marylou, Dean’s sometime-girlfriend-sometime-wife, gets more ink, but is no more fleshed out. Traveling with Dean across country to pick up Sal and then making the trek back west, we are presented with a woman who has many of the same appetites as Dean and Sal, but is painted as a more dangerous presence, as a schemer and, at times, a brake on the men’s adventures. Marylou has ulterior motives, as described by Sal, pits Sal and Dean against each other, seeks to make other women jealous.

But her presence is limited and, in the end, she is drawn with a little more detail, but lacks the shading, the color, of any of the men in the book. She’s two-dimensional, often an after thought like all women in the novel except for Terry. There is a scene in New Orleans that typifies this attitude: Sal, Dean and Ed run across rail tracks in New Orleans so Dean could show Sal his brakeman moves; they leave “Marylou and Galatea were waiting in the car” (155), unconcerned about what they might do or whether they OK with this temporary abandonment — they were out for a drive as a group, after all. Then, when the men get “back to the girls an hour late,” the girls “of course … were mad” (155). He writes this matter-of-faculty, as though it was just the price men pay for their attraction to women, for letting them tag along. Marylou, Camille, Dorothy Johnson — they present as obstacles, impediments, not real fleshed-out characters, not partners in loving relationships, but as objects.